Taesu’s life existed in one too many fractals: there was his childhood divided between his adoptive parents and the orphanage; there was his heart split between the innocence of not knowing what he was and the shame that followed once he learned; there were before and afters of people in life who frightened of their desire for him, and the realization that he’d probably be alone forever. Not that he could blame them – who would want to befriend a monster? Taesu didn’t like to cross-examine any of them because he’d started out at the top of the food chain, a well loved boy who couldn’t think of a want, to someone abandoned whose single wish was to have a friend.
They didn’t even have to be a real one.
When he slipped away from the orphanage, it wasn’t rebellion that guided him, but rather hunger. Taesu wanted to be with people. To be seen, maybe even liked. Friends, or at least a version of them. The Collector had found him like that: wide-eyed, beautiful, and desperate to be wanted. He’d been skeptical at first, Taesu knew that this kind of attention always came with a price, but the Collector’s smile had been warm, his promises were easy to believe because it was everything Taesu wanted – a home that wanted him precisely for what he was. Not despite it.
He'd lived on scraps of affections most of his life, so that was all he needed to hear.
He’d put on his best clothes (that were still rags, but clean, at least) before he slipped out the door. By the time he stood in the middle of the Jeong courtyard, his stomach had turned itself inside out with nerves. It was beautiful and he felt too dirty to even be standing here. A part of Taesu wanted to run before anyone saw him, to forget that he’d ever thought of himself as worthy of being here because somehow, he knew, he’d be disappointed too because people like him didn’t belong in places like this –
But then one of the doors opened and Taesu jumped, his hands clutching at the thin fabric of his shirt as though he could make himself smaller. The person who emerged was a boy who looked no longer than himself, and although he wanted to find it odd, Taesu’s thoughts were only his heartbeat pounding inside his head. He bowed back to him, somehow stuttering out his own name in greeting. It was too late to turn back now, wasn’t it?
Clean clothes were offered but Taesu hesitated before taking them, afraid to touch something so clean. He looked up once, uncertain, and he opened his mouth to ask are you sure? but all that came out was a small noise of uncertainty. Taesu took them then, careful to keep their hands from brushing, before he glanced down at the clothes, his hands running against the fabric. They were much softer than anything he’d ever had. He couldn’t even bring himself to say thank you in fear of him taking them back like he’d failed a test.
Tae glanced up, but finding Seojin’s eyes on him, he quickly lowered his gaze. He nodded before following him. “Thank you…” He finally whispered, although his eyes remained glued to the ground. “Do you live here?”
This was going to be another fractal moment for him – there would be the Taesu from before, who lived in the orphanage and the Taesu now, who might, if anything went well he supposed, remain here. (Maybe it would be a divide between being unwanted to wanted, but Tae also wasn’t holding his breath.)
Seojin Jeong
They didn’t even have to be a real one.
When he slipped away from the orphanage, it wasn’t rebellion that guided him, but rather hunger. Taesu wanted to be with people. To be seen, maybe even liked. Friends, or at least a version of them. The Collector had found him like that: wide-eyed, beautiful, and desperate to be wanted. He’d been skeptical at first, Taesu knew that this kind of attention always came with a price, but the Collector’s smile had been warm, his promises were easy to believe because it was everything Taesu wanted – a home that wanted him precisely for what he was. Not despite it.
He'd lived on scraps of affections most of his life, so that was all he needed to hear.
He’d put on his best clothes (that were still rags, but clean, at least) before he slipped out the door. By the time he stood in the middle of the Jeong courtyard, his stomach had turned itself inside out with nerves. It was beautiful and he felt too dirty to even be standing here. A part of Taesu wanted to run before anyone saw him, to forget that he’d ever thought of himself as worthy of being here because somehow, he knew, he’d be disappointed too because people like him didn’t belong in places like this –
But then one of the doors opened and Taesu jumped, his hands clutching at the thin fabric of his shirt as though he could make himself smaller. The person who emerged was a boy who looked no longer than himself, and although he wanted to find it odd, Taesu’s thoughts were only his heartbeat pounding inside his head. He bowed back to him, somehow stuttering out his own name in greeting. It was too late to turn back now, wasn’t it?
Clean clothes were offered but Taesu hesitated before taking them, afraid to touch something so clean. He looked up once, uncertain, and he opened his mouth to ask are you sure? but all that came out was a small noise of uncertainty. Taesu took them then, careful to keep their hands from brushing, before he glanced down at the clothes, his hands running against the fabric. They were much softer than anything he’d ever had. He couldn’t even bring himself to say thank you in fear of him taking them back like he’d failed a test.
Tae glanced up, but finding Seojin’s eyes on him, he quickly lowered his gaze. He nodded before following him. “Thank you…” He finally whispered, although his eyes remained glued to the ground. “Do you live here?”
This was going to be another fractal moment for him – there would be the Taesu from before, who lived in the orphanage and the Taesu now, who might, if anything went well he supposed, remain here. (Maybe it would be a divide between being unwanted to wanted, but Tae also wasn’t holding his breath.)
![[Image: JJUdkv9.png]](https://file.garden/aN0lvmYmaWI-Onw7/Charming/JJUdkv9.png)
Credit to Fox for this beautiful set!<3