Ben sat down opposite; Ari had put his hands on his own knees to steady himself, but looked at Ben’s knees instead. He wanted to meet his eyes, but he felt – a little ashamed, maybe, that everything they had been through had led them here.
Ari nodded at the second question, pressing on the fabric of his clothes against his knee but resisting the urge to scratch at the scars he had worked his way up his arms and along his thighs, healing them magically and opening them back up again until the healing didn’t work. He had nothing to hurt himself with here. Potions, still, but not the kind he’d been taking before, to make his insides writhe, to feel something – only ones that dulled the sensation, made him listless and tired.
“It’s –” How could he even put it into words, the strange state of his life here? “Different. But it’s still a hospital, so.” A different kind of hospital, and a different kind of patient – but Ari managed a wry smile to himself, because it was like being through the looking glass, a little; not so complete a change to his life, after all. He bowed his head a little further, the smile disappearing as he forced himself to be more honest with Ben. He couldn’t leave this place unless he could be honest. “They’re treating me better than – better than I was treating myself, at least.” He didn’t know what terrible self-destruction Ben had put himself through, if he had been hurting alone – but unlike Ari, he had never been to blame for anything.
Ari nodded at the second question, pressing on the fabric of his clothes against his knee but resisting the urge to scratch at the scars he had worked his way up his arms and along his thighs, healing them magically and opening them back up again until the healing didn’t work. He had nothing to hurt himself with here. Potions, still, but not the kind he’d been taking before, to make his insides writhe, to feel something – only ones that dulled the sensation, made him listless and tired.
“It’s –” How could he even put it into words, the strange state of his life here? “Different. But it’s still a hospital, so.” A different kind of hospital, and a different kind of patient – but Ari managed a wry smile to himself, because it was like being through the looking glass, a little; not so complete a change to his life, after all. He bowed his head a little further, the smile disappearing as he forced himself to be more honest with Ben. He couldn’t leave this place unless he could be honest. “They’re treating me better than – better than I was treating myself, at least.” He didn’t know what terrible self-destruction Ben had put himself through, if he had been hurting alone – but unlike Ari, he had never been to blame for anything.
