The choice. What was he supposed to do with that? Surely it would only be cause for them to hate him or be hurt by him more, if he told them he wanted to die. Dionisia had been a mediwitch. Whatever she thought of him now, she would probably suffer her way through his continued survival for his sake. Ben would not let him do it, either – Ari could imagine his anger and his fear too well – but wouldn’t Ari only feel worse for putting that burden on him, too? He had ruined his life in enough ways already.
And – who could he go to in his family? His father, maybe, who would tell him he was talking nonsense, who would not believe it of him – who would probably suggest they dealt with the issue quietly. Not Kons, who had already lost Amelia; not Dory, who had enough on his mind, not Leo or Nemo either. Roslyn would be sensible, and Katia would be sympathetic, but they had their own families to worry about, and so did Xena, and so did Zelda now. He couldn’t tell them – although as they crossed his mind now it felt like he was disappointing them by doing this, too.
But the next remark shook him out of his head entirely. His forehead creased. “What – what do you mean?” Odd things had happened with time before, sure; but it felt to Ari like an ordinary day. (And – he swallowed now – what did it mean, if today of all days, something like that had happened again?)
And – who could he go to in his family? His father, maybe, who would tell him he was talking nonsense, who would not believe it of him – who would probably suggest they dealt with the issue quietly. Not Kons, who had already lost Amelia; not Dory, who had enough on his mind, not Leo or Nemo either. Roslyn would be sensible, and Katia would be sympathetic, but they had their own families to worry about, and so did Xena, and so did Zelda now. He couldn’t tell them – although as they crossed his mind now it felt like he was disappointing them by doing this, too.
But the next remark shook him out of his head entirely. His forehead creased. “What – what do you mean?” Odd things had happened with time before, sure; but it felt to Ari like an ordinary day. (And – he swallowed now – what did it mean, if today of all days, something like that had happened again?)
