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Witch Weekly · May 28, 2018 – 12:15 AM

If you wish to re-purpose your fillet, your canine companion will surely appreciate a treat!

The Remarkable Red Meat Wrinkle Remedy!
Young ladies, do not turn over too soon! This remarkable remedy is not only exceedingly efficient in warding off wrinkles and smoothing away those that have already appeared, it is also quite effective for restoring the handsome, girlish glow that is so easily lost when a young lady is under the weather or otherwise out of sorts. All one requires for this treatment is a raw beef fillet, it's so simple a muggle could manage it!

With her numerous misfortunes and frail health, Mrs. Hannah Pettigrew could surely benefit from taking precaution against early aging.

The meat must be of good quality, not overly gristly or fatty, and of such a size as to cover the affected area - or one's entire face if necessary. If you have opted for full coverage, we recommend having your maid cut a few holes to allow easier breathing through the nose and mouth. Eye holes may be desirable, although the fillet may double as an eye mask if left in tact. If you only require partial facial coverage, place the fillet accordingly.

The treatment may be done at any hour of the day, but it is most convenient to do so during the night. In order to prevent the meat from slipping off the moment you fall asleep, wrap a fine, breathable material such as muslin firmly around your head with the fillet pinned between the fabric and your face. Fasten tightly enough to keep it from becoming dislodged in the night. Remove upon waking.

Needless to say, the fresh the fillet, the more effective the treatment will be. If you are using it to reduce or prevent wrinkles, you will need to use the treatment regularly in order to achieve the desired effect. If you are only using it to reduce temporary puffiness of the eyes or other temporary afflictions, you may cease the treatment once your skin is restored.

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