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Witch Weekly · July 20, 2020 – 2:06 AM

Quiz: Where Will You Be in Five Years?

1. What is your favourite part of a ball...

a. Catching up with all my friends!
b. Having a man’s hand on my waist in public.
c. Nabbing the most eligible bachelor in the room for my dance card.
d. Copious amounts of champagne.

2. Pick a card, any card, and it is...

a. The Reversed High Priestess.
b. The Tower.
c. The Empress.
d. The Wheel of Fortune.

3. Which aesthetic are you most drawn to?

a. A cosy fireplace, knitted blankets, warm cinnamon buns.
b. Streets full of strangers, whispered secrets, deep red wine stains.
c. Pearls and silver hairbrushes, pressed flowers, never being alone.
d. Fresh lilies, dark polished wood, old monuments, an earthy scent.

4. You never go anywhere without ...

a. A close friend for comfort.
b. A sense of adventure.
c. A set of calling cards, what else!
d. A sense of foreboding.

5. Pick a society lady.

a. Adelia Lovegood.
b. Melody Crouch.
c. Hermione Longbottom.
d. Olivia Pendergast.

6. Which quote most speaks to you?

a. “To sit in the shade on a fine day, and look upon verdure, is the most perfect refreshment.”
b. “But we no more choose our passions than our features or complexion.”
c. “He had not breathed a word of love, or dropped one hint of tenderness or affection, and yet I had been supremely happy. To be near him, to hear him talk as he did talk, and to feel that he thought me worthy to be so spoken to was enough.”
d. “I wish I were a girl again, half savage and hardy, and free...”

7. In the future, you would most like to...

a. Buy a new dressing gown.
b. Work in whichever profession will have you.
c. Go to Paris.
d. Find some peace.

Mostly As: Exactly the same place. If, in five years, everything about your life is exactly as it is now, will you be happy with it? Is this all that you are? You might think you are happy, but misery is insidious, and your personality is almost certainly lacking in some regard. Give yourself a slap on the wrist, throw yourself out of your comfort zone, and get a move on in life so you aren’t left behind.

Mostly Bs: Ruined, unfortunately. In the next five years you will pursue your own desires too fiercely, and tumble from grace, burning bridges and losing friends, family, and your dignity all at once. Face up to the fact that happiness comes at too great a cost, or best start preparing yourself for your new life on the streets.

Mostly Cs: Happily married. Yes, that’s right: everything is set to go perfectly for you. Your life in five years is a picturesque scene of laughing children, lavish wardrobes and a generous, loving husband - and if you are married already, you are already halfway there. Keep your chin up, darling: you deserve the world.

Mostly Ds: Dead. The truth is, you just aren’t cut out for this thing called life. Whether death will come swift or slow, peacefully or painfully, as a result of your own actions or merest coincidence, we cannot know, but we regret to inform you that you are 100% doomed. Best get your affairs in order now, and do the one thing you’ve been dreaming of before you’re in the ground.

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