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Witch Weekly · April 8, 2018 – 5:16 AM

Five Soon-to-Be Spinsters Who May Surprise You

The true enemy of every debutante is time. While it may be a good idea to be picky regarding one's future husband, there becomes a point at which one cannot afford to be picky anymore, and that is generally around when the first gray hair appears. The following five debutantes, who are all less socially awkward than Miss Adelia Lovegood, are increasingly likely to remain unmarried for the rest of their lives. Cautionary tales for the temperamental among us.

Miss Lily Huddleston: at risk of dying alone.
Miss Lily Huddleston, a Bartonburg resident, turned 23 at the end of March. Miss Huddleston has an excellent reputation and has the luck of being her father's only child. Unlike many potential spinsters, Miss Huddleston is a charming woman, who does not seem to have any man-associated anxieties that may cause her to die alone. Yet despite her good looks and charming personality she has not had a public engagement with a man, suggesting that she has fallen into the trap of many unfortunate debutantes: pickiness.

Miss Violetta Lestrange is yet another aging debutante. A Wellingtonshire resident and pureblood, with connections to the Lestrange and - (more unfortunately, given Miss Annabelle Scrimgeour) - the Scrimgeour family, by all accounts Miss Lestrange should have been married by now. Instead, her seasons have been failures, and she has never been connected to any man to speak of! Witch Weekly reporters believe that Miss Lestrange may have started to go gray, as well. It likely does not help that our sources report that Miss Lestrange is not particularly skilled in the feminine arts. If her next season is another flop, Miss Lestrange may as well give up.

Like Miss Lestrange, Miss Ligeia Baudelaire is a Wellingtonshire resident and pureblood. One of her early romantic disasters was not her fault - Miss Ligeia Baudelaire was engaged to Mr. Nero Bloxam, who readers may remember drowned after he fell in love with a mer! Perhaps this added to her romantic trauma, but this was many years ago and she should have recovered since then. Unlike Miss Lestrange, Miss Baudelaire has two sisters - both of whom are successfully married. This includes her younger sister, Mrs. Antigone Lestrange, and must be very embarrassing for Mrs. Baudelaire as she ages.

Miss Ligeia Baudelaire: another likely spinster.

Miss Porphyria Dempsey, a poet, may be less surprising than the other women on our list due to her family's eccentricity. But she should still be noticed as an especially outlandish case - Miss Dempsey's rudeness at social gatherings has presented her from finding a husband, even as he friends became Mrs. Malfoy and Mrs. Devine.

Miss Wilhelmina "Minnie" Pendergast is yet another increasingly risky debutante. Miss Pendergast is a former Pendergast Rose, and her delayed debut makes her less dubiously positioned than the other listed ladies. But, like the others, Miss Pendergast is aging - perhaps too much. We'll see. At least she did not leave a man at the altar.

Make sure not to be too picky or awkward, so that you don't end up on a list like this!

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Issue #174 - 5 Soon To Be Spinsters Who May Surprise You