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Witch Weekly · November 24, 2019 – 8:23 PM

Do you have a mistletoe horror story (or fond memory) to share? Write us a letter and your story may be featured in a December article!

Mistletoe: Friend or Foe?
The Christmas season is approaching, and with it, a traditional yet controversial decoration: mistletoe. Those who missed out on NEWT herbology may be surprised to learn that mistletoe is actually more of a parasite than a typical plant, and often kills the trees that it nestles in, and yet the tradition of sharing a kiss beneath it actually goes all the way back to Ancient Greece! But is this a tradition worth maintaining, or one that should be left by the wayside?

Decorating too liberally may lead a debutante to their downfall, experts warn. On the one hand, it is seen as exceptionally rude to refuse a kiss if one is caught under the mistletoe, to the point where one reader reported a gentleman who had appeared to be on the verge of asking for courtship withdrew his advances after she opted to maintain her Christmas-kiss chastity. A well-known etiquette manual warns girls that refusing to kiss below the mistletoe may result in losing the attention of all men for a year or more! On the other hand, however, a girl seen to be kissing too often will doubtless be talked about. Hostesses, for that reason, are encouraged to place mistletoe only once or twice in the home, if they chose to use it at all, so that those not intending to be caught under its web may avoid it easily.

But should you put it up in the first place? Opinions are mixed. One reader reported that she shared her first kiss (with chastely closed lips) with her husband beneath the mistletoe, while the two were still courting, and she believed that special moment accelerated their progress towards engagement. Another reader was caught under the mistletoe with an odious fellow, who then felt entitled to ask her to dance three times at that same party, which quite disrupted her chances of enjoying the evening.

Another issue to take note of is the nature of the kiss shared below mistletoe. While it is generally rude to refuse a kiss in this situation, the kiss must reflect the level of acquaintance between the man and the woman (and not in any case the level of acquaintance one party merely desires). Between strangers or distance acquaintances, a gentleman may kiss a woman's hand, but nothing more is appropriate. With friends, a kiss on the cheek may be substituted. Only when the couple is in the latter stages of courtship or beyond would a kiss on the lips be appropriate, and in these situations one must always remember the public nature of the event and keep things simple, chaste, and brief.

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