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Witch Weekly · February 3, 2019 – 8:57 PM

The Animated Feather Duster is available through mail order and comes in a variety of colors, including black, grey, white, and 'multicolored bouquet,' which is made from the feathers of exotic birds.

Bottled Phoenix Products are available in select stores.

Make Your Housekeeper Redundant with these Five Amazing Products
Is your household budget getting a bit tight, paying for your weekly housekeeper in addition to a cook or nanny? Or would you simply like to replace your human staff member due to a clash of personality? With these magical cleaning products, you may never need to delegate housework again!

1. The Animated Feather Duster
This feather duster will dust any room from top to bottom, without any need for human oversight or intervention. Available from Ronda Rite's Cleaning Co, this duster is not recommended for use in rooms with an excess of fragile or breakable items, as it can be over-exuberant at times. It has also sent at least one toddler to the hospital after malfunctioning and repeatedly bashing the child over the head, but the manufacturers assure us that this particular bug has been eliminated from the current design.

2. Ever-Shine Furniture Polish
This furniture polish, after being applied once to any wood surface, will give it a shine that will never fade and eliminate the need for tedious polishing after every dinner party. Test it on an inconspicuous surface before applying, as there are some reports that it can make surfaces too slick to be held or sat on, depending on the type of wood used in the furniture.

3. Self-Darning Stockings
Although on the more expensive side, these stockings will never need to be re-purchased as they can repair themselves indefinitely when holes or tears appear! These are available in all sizes, from infant to half-giant, and come in four colors: white, black, red, and aubergine. Several people have reported that they enjoy the sensation of the socks repairing themselves while being worn, although some find the experience disquieting.

4. Unobtrusive Pest Control
Tired of buying doxycide? Spiderwebs and fairy eggs hiding in your corners? The Burton Beastiary in London has bred a small variant on the red-fanged attic snake, who feasts on all common household pests. Purchase one and make a nest for it in an unused cupboard, and never have to worry about infestations again! Please note that you ought only to purchase one, as it is difficult to confirm gender for these creatures and they have a tendency to breed voraciously if allowed.

5. Bottled Phoenix Chimney Sweep
This amazing product eliminates the need for chimney sweeping and gives the interior of your fireplace a like-new glimmer. Simply pour the liquid into the fireplace and let the 'phoenix' do its work! Please be advised that per Ministry Statute 2937-J, fireplaces must be disconnected from the Floo network prior to using this potion.

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