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Witch Weekly · August 19, 2018 – 2:47 PM

Tooth Whitening Tips

Have you had to hide your smile away behind a fan because of a hideous mass of yellow teeth? Well, you needn't continue to shirk from showing your pearly whites — with some of the ingenious cures listed here, they actually can be pearly white!

Yes, your teeth could be as white as this!

Drink Vinegar & Pumice Stone
A cure brought to us all the way from ancient Egypt, this drink will make your teeth whiter day by day — though it is rather horrendous to stomach, and adding anything to improve the flavor will result in the whitening effects being lessened.

Rinse With Unicorn Urine
The ammonia found in urine is a bleaching agent, and although the idea of swishing it around your mouth may be odious in most cases, the unicorn is renowned for its purity. If there is any creature whose discharge may be safely pushed around your teeth and gums, it is the unicorn's.

File Them Down
A professional barber with experience in hair and tooth care can easily remove a yellowed layer of teeth with a quick file. A rinse with some clean water will clear the ground bone out from your mouth, leaving you with teeth as shiny as a child's!

Apply Acid
A good barber will also have a supply of acids which can be safely used orally, which can be less abrasive but in some cases just as effective as filing the teeth. We recommend you avoid trying this one at home, as the use of the wrong acid can leave permanent scarring on your gums, or do more serious damage.

Drink Medical-Grade Flouride
A chemical known as flouride has recently been discovered to have some tooth-whitening properties, but use it only in moderation. It is believed that drinking flouride may be toxic in large amounts, and even worse, may actually make your teeth more susceptible to stains in the long-term if you over-indulge. Mix a small amount of flouride in a large glass of water for best results.

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