He thought he understood the answer, much as he didn’t like to hear it. Kieran depended on the drink, then, the way laudanum addicts couldn’t get enough of the stuff, almost couldn’t function without it. And he didn’t know how long Kieran had lived like this – for as long as Jude had known him, certainly – but he was sure it was slowly killing him.
How could he say it, though? I don’t like seeing you this way. That was Jude’s problem more than it was Kieran’s. Doesn’t it only make you feel worse, really? But who was he to judge? Kieran already went through the ringer like clockwork every month; maybe part of the alcohol’s job was to self-medicate through it. Aren’t you scared of what it might do to you?
Maybe he wasn’t – but Jude was. He realised he had been in his head, swallowing his thoughts, and a little too quiet for a little too long. Suddenly, then: “Have you never – tried to stop?”
How could he say it, though? I don’t like seeing you this way. That was Jude’s problem more than it was Kieran’s. Doesn’t it only make you feel worse, really? But who was he to judge? Kieran already went through the ringer like clockwork every month; maybe part of the alcohol’s job was to self-medicate through it. Aren’t you scared of what it might do to you?
Maybe he wasn’t – but Jude was. He realised he had been in his head, swallowing his thoughts, and a little too quiet for a little too long. Suddenly, then: “Have you never – tried to stop?”
