Charming
Issue #235 - Coming Out Ball: Some Ought to Have Stayed In - Printable Version

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Issue #235 - Coming Out Ball: Some Ought to Have Stayed In - Witch Weekly - June 8, 2020



RE: Issue #235 - Coming Out Ball: Some Ought to Have Stayed In - Witch Weekly - June 8, 2020

Warning: This mixture has yet to be tested. Side effects may vary. The Energising Gimlet
Required to attend a rather dull event that you are simply too exhausted by the thought of? Do you have a large social calendar that requires a rather large amount of energy? Have your energising potions always tasted utterly dull? Perhaps the Energising Gimlet is just what you need!

Ingredients:
3 Alihotsy leaves
3 Dried billywig stings
3 Peppermint
3 Stewed Mandrake
3 Infusion of Wormwood
2 Teaspoons of Honeywater
2 Vervain infusion
2 Scurvy grass
2 Lovage

2.5 Ounces of Gin
0.5 Ounces of Lime Juice

Directions:
Crush your alihotsy leaves with your dried billywig strings, then add your scurvy grass. All of this must first be done in a seperate bowl, mind you. Leave in a well lit area until it is time to add these ingredients to the cauldron. Add peppermint, vervain infusion, and lovage into your cauldron and stir counterclockwise. Let simmer for one hour and then add the ingredients from your seperate bowl. Stir clockwise before adding the rest of your potion ingredients. Then let it simmer for one hour and cool for another.

In a glassware appropriate for your drink, add your gin, lime juice, and your potion. Mix well. Side effects may include sleeplessness and frequent fainting spells. Drink wisely, and not too much ladies!


RE: Issue #235 - Coming Out Ball: Some Ought to Have Stayed In - Witch Weekly - June 8, 2020

Let us know what experiences you've had with fan language by writing to us! 7 Fantastic Facts!
As the perceptive reader may have guessed the following facts are entirely to do with fans. The fan is an incredibly versatile tool in the lady's arsenal — yes, tool!


An elegant fan is a lady's best friend!
1. Aesthetic
Firstly, let us remark upon the obvious: fans are often considered largely ornamental additions to a lady's attire. Often masterfully painted, crafted with fine fabrics, scented with special wood or perfumes, and boasting intricate designs in precious metals, you'd be forgiven for believing that the fan is purely decorative. A fan ought to compliment a lady's gown but not overshadow it.

2. Practical
The second most obvious observation about the fan is its purpose. Fans are not merely an ornament. As any lady with one season behind her will know, a summer ballroom is the scene of many a swoon. With a fan looped about her wrist, the society lady may brandish it at a moment's notice and relieve herself, or a dear friend, from the stifling air. At an outdoor event the fan serves a double purpose both in circulating the air about one's face and dismissing airborne pests from one's vicinity. Ingenious!

3. Discretion
A less common purpose perhaps but discretion can often be found in public behind an unfurled fan. Many a lady will understand the misery of embarrassment and the reddening betrayal by one's face. Brandishing one's fan and shielding their face is often a more discreet alternative to allowing oneself to color violently or show too plainly one's emotions in front of others. This also allows for one's friends and acquaintances to take the opportunity to admire your handsome fan.

4. Conversation Piece
While you brandish your fan, the more intricate and ornate your fan is, the more likely it is that your companions will remark on your fine taste. Many a friendship has been forged over excellent taste in artistic fans! If you happen to have a hand painted fan you can use this to your advantage and turn your conversation toward artistic pursuits.

5. Traditional
Fans have been at ladies' sides for hundreds of years, as far back as the Ancient Greeks! Throughout the centuries the fan has seen few changes in its structure, but many different styles have come and gone.

6. Enchanting
Magical fans are truly an underrated innovation. Many are charmed to enhance the airflow to produce an even cooler effect with less wrist action but sometimes they are imbued with the other properties dependent on the owner's fancy. Love potions are an infamous method of fan modification where a fan is soaked in love potion and thus gives its wielder a distinct allure when brandishing her fan.

7. Communicative
Most intriguing of all is communication via fan. The skill of fan flirtation is deft and at times tricky - one must be certain their target knows the language of the fan and that their attention has been secured.

The movements and meanings are as follows:
Holding the fan in the left hand — "I wish to make your acquaintance."
Holding the fan in the right hand — "You are too eager."
Holding the fan in the right hand, in front of face — "Follow me."
Holding the fan against the right ear or a closed fan — "You have changed."
Twirling the fan in the left hand — "I wish to be rid of you."
Twirling the fan in the right hand — "I love another."
Brandishing the fan in front of the forehead — "We are watched."
Drawing the fan through the hand — "I despise you."
Drawing the fan across the cheek — "I love you."
Drawing the fan across the eye — An apology.
Closing the fan — "I wish to speak to you."
Resting the fan on the right cheek — "Yes."
Resting the fan on the left cheek — "No."
Opening and closing the fan — "You are cruel."
Dropping the fan — "We will be friends."
Fanning slowly — "I am married."
Fanning fast — "I am engaged."
With the fan handle against lips — "Kiss me."
Open fan — "Wait for me."


RE: Issue #235 - Coming Out Ball: Some Ought to Have Stayed In - Witch Weekly - June 8, 2020

Our apologies if any of our readers are the mothers or guardians of the debutantes who came out at the Hogwarts annual ball and therefore offended by our frank and honest portrayal of their showing.

On the other hand; you ought to have raised them better. 		The Hogwarts Coming Out Ball: Some Ought to Have Stayed In
What a thoroughly disappointing crop of debutante this year. We at Witch Weekly pity any man on the hunt for a wife, but will do our due diligence in recounting the pedigrees of this year's Hogwarts graduates for the edification of our readers.

Miss Acacia Ruskin is unlikely to have many marriage prospects, as her halfbreed heritage is no secret. The half-fangs she sports in her smile positively glowed next to her white dress, making them impossible to miss for anyone who took so much as a second glance in her direction. Fortunately, we've heard rumors that Miss Ruskin intends to work rather than foisting herself upon society; one wishes that her parents might have spared us all the trouble of attending the event since it was little more than a charade. Miss Ruskin's stepmother-to-be, however, had another connection among the recent graduates: young sister Miss Shera Drago. Unfortunately, this young woman will also have her reptuation and her prospects marred by her proximity to vampiric relations after her sister remarries later this summer.

Miss Sweetie Whitledge ought to have been one to impress at the ball, but her attitude was one of obvious disdain and it seems quite obvious that she would make no one at all a very pleasant wife. Perhaps the lack of parental guidance is to blame; her older brother has frequently been criticized for his lackluster attempts to guide the family after he and his abundance of siblings were orphaned several years ago.

Miss Dorothy Finch made a passable showing at the ball, but had no particular need to impress; rather than entering society, the girl is set to attend the Pendergast School for Young Roses in the coming year. Perhaps her parents are attempting to avoid another disastrous elopement by ensuring that Miss Finch is properly finished before coming out, so that she doesn't follow in the footsteps of the recently minted Mrs. Melody Crouch nee Finch.

Miss Liliana Selwyn is another young woman planning to have a separate coming out, though hers will take place later this season. Our readers may be aware that Miss Selwyn, a recognized bastard, will be sponsored for this season by the Countess Adinbury. Perhaps the Countess' proximity to Muggle nobility has caused some sort of erosion of her moral sense that has left her viewing Miss Selwyn's heritage as cute and plucky rather than seeing her debut for the lost cause that it is. Miss Selwyn will be, we assume, grateful for the patronage, as she may not be able to expect much support from her father's family — if the looks granted to her by her relations during the event are any indication, anyway.


Miss Fawley, the Least Disappointing Debutante of the 1890 season.

Last but far from least, we are delighted to introduce our readers to Miss Octavia Fawley, who was the event's only saving grace. Miss Fawley is the younger sister of Diana Fawley, who was recently engaged to Mr. William Abbott. While Diana Fawley was prior to this season causing some of our writers to worry that she was destined for spinsterhood, her sister Octavia will, we are confident, make a much earlier and perhaps even more prestigious match. During the Coming Out she acquitted herself with grace and poise, danced well, and did not have too much champagne. The dress she chose was a perfectly fitting style for her body shape, and the white accentuated her somewhat exotic features which allowed her beauty to shine through.

In sum: we expect any man worthy of her would do well to take note of Miss Fawley, but as for the rest... perhaps those seeking young wives will have better luck next year.


RE: Issue #235 - Coming Out Ball: Some Ought to Have Stayed In - Witch Weekly - June 8, 2020

The latest gossip from around magical Britain! Heard Around Town
Claudius Lestrange and Ellory Pendergast's wedding is happening next week. Those pesky Pendergasts really hate the idea of marrying outside the family, don't they?

Miss Gallivan was drinking more than the men at my cousin's party last week. Perhaps that step-mother of hers should keep a better eye on her!

I've heard that the only reason Arthur Pettigrew made it on the British National Team is because he's a friend of Fitzroy Prewett. I never thought the Ministry would show such obvious favoritism!

Miss Backus was seen going into the Whitledge residence recently. I'd like to give her the benefit of doubt and assume she was visiting Miss Cupcake Whitledge, but I remember how close she was with Mr. Whitledge at Hogwarts...

I've heard Miss Jupiter Smith is off on another wild adventure. Will that family ever settle down?

Odette Lécuyer—or should I say Mrs. Odette Taillor—has recently come back to Hogsmeade. Has her other sister started acting out as well?


RE: Issue #235 - Coming Out Ball: Some Ought to Have Stayed In - Witch Weekly - June 8, 2020